What happens when Netflix gives Michael Bay a blank check and an R rating?
You get a whole bunch of action set pieces. Some of them are pretty inventive–including the magnet-on-a-yacht thing at the end. You also get a very dumb story.
But here’s the thing: there’s a place for stuff like this, and I’ll probably watch the sequel because I subscribe to Netflix and I’m enchanted by shiny objects.
Faint praise: This ridiculous movie is a lot better than the “Transformers” series. Those movies are unwatchable, and not for story reasons (though the plots are true trash). I find that with all the spinning and noises and transformational bombast, the “Transformers” films cannot be processed by my feeble mind.